Traumaprom

[insecrets]

[In the early years, after Snow first started selling him off and before he got smart enough to realize he could use this to his advantage, Finnick had experimented with more alcohol and drugs than he cared to admit. That's how he feels right now as he groans and climbs to his knees with his eyes just barely open. Like he's been on a bad bender.

It passes quickly when he finally sits back, opens his eyes, finds himself in the world's smallest arena. That's all he can really call it, and there's that moment of panic that he's not quite familiar with sinking in his stomach. He touches the glass and shudders. It seems like hours that he's in this position, but it's really only seconds. Because as soon as he thinks "arena", he's on his feet with his back to the wall.

Because if this is a Game, he has an opponent.

And Finnick Odair doesn't die.

Except-] Johanna.

Comments

[axecerbic]

[She'd fight if all she had left were her teeth and a pair of legs to walk on, that's a given. Still, Johanna is no Beetee. No amount of tampering is going to a way out for both of them with just a knife and a vial of poison.]

We can't. [It's a huge admission, with just a few words.] We'll play, and we'll go all in. Anything we can give up, if it means getting out of here. [Like they have much to give in the first place.]

[insecrets]

[There's a fraction of a second where his shoulders slump, because she's right. And there's part of him that's not so much of a defeatist as it is someone who has had a long time to accept the inevitable.]

At least we know how games are played. [He gives her hand a squeeze and steps back.] Me, then. I'll be the one who dies.

[He says the words before he can rethink him. Finnick would rather one of them have a chance than both of them die, and he knows Johanna. He knows her better than she might think, and he knows that even if she has nothing, she'll always have her life.

He thinks of Annie for a brief second before banishing her away.]

[axecerbic]

['You aren't going to die,' the words are on the tip of her tongue but she can't make herself promise that, not when he's putting his life on the line for her and she can't do the same. Johanna nods, expression grim before she turns to glare up at the top of the dome.]

You hear that, you sick fucks? We've made our choice! Are you happy now?!

[insecrets]

[He smiles grimly at her, listening to her rant. What are they going to do to her anyway? She has nobody. Mags will be alone, Annie will have nothing. It'll be up to Johanna to protect the Mockingjay. He almost laughs.

They're so fucked, either way.] We're allowed to make an offer, right? [He glances up, walking around the domed room.] That's part of this game? We make you offers, and you judge them. You make us beg for our lives, and I bet you love that, don't you?

[Finnick has never begged for his own life before. He's begged for others, for his family. For Annie. He's listened to kids beg for theirs before he gutted them.] You can have me. [He licks his lips and tilts his head, that smirk he owns so well on his face.] For our lives, you can have me however you want.

[His stomach tightens to the point where he thinks he'll be sick. But he never falters, never breaks character.]

[axecerbic]

[She's pacing now, vicious grin on her face that doesn't falter - even with Finnick's offer and what it implies. Instead, Johanna imagines getting out, grabbing that leader bitch at the party and pressing thumbs into her eye sockets until her screams cut out, until her body stops twitching. It helps, but only just.]

How about I don't kill you once you let me out? Does that sound good? [Head cocked to the side as if she's seriously considering this a good offer, but this isn't her bargaining chip and she doesn't want to make promises she can't keep. There's a shake of her head as she pushes her bangs out of her eyes.] Fine. I'll give you a memory. You bargain in that, right?

[infiniteregress]

[Vanessa's voice can be heard. From where, who knows?]

As memories are yours to give, they are indeed acceptable.

[axecerbic]

[She bristles at the answer, tempted to throw the bottle of poison at the glass but refrains for now. They might need that later. Still, she doesn't take long to make a decision.]

My family, my friends, when they were taken away from me. [When Snow and the Capital gave her a reason to fight, when they gave her no choice but to be the monster they made her into. Even giving some small part of who she is would be asking too much, if her and Finnick's life weren't on the line.] You can take them and shove them up your ass.

[insecrets]

[She's giving up her memories. For him. That's what it is, plain and simple. Not good memories. Memories best forgotten, except for the fact that they've shaped her into what she is. And honestly, Finnick likes this Johanna. He likes every bit of her.

A shudder crawls up his spine before he reaches out and tugs her closer to him without any warning. And embraces her tightly, holding her to him.]

[axecerbic]

[She doesn't fight it but she doesn't reciprocate either, the only sign that she's even tolerating this is the slight dig of her chin into his collar bone. With any luck, this will be enough.]